“You wouldn’t have anything of this if it weren’t for me“
Only an insecure man trying to belittle your worth and confidence would drop such pearls hoping that if he says them often enough you will end up believing that it’s true.
Sadly enough it works for most men out there because most women are not aware of their own worth and what they bring to the table.
And that’s how you recognize how little and undeserving these men are of you. Honestly, the moment they say something of that nature should be the moment you become aware of what they’re trying to do to your self esteem and take the determination to do whatever it takes for you to be able to start packing and walk out the door.
Because that’s one of those clear cut moments in which they start diminishing your value and try to bring your self-esteem down. That’s the moment love ends and abuse and mistreatment begins.
They might say so with humour and a lovely tone, they might say hoping you see how lucky you are that they choose you to be with them. They might not even be aware of what drives them to say such things, but under seemingly innocent sentences like those there is a dark hidden motive making you feel inferior and dependent of them. And at the same they’re highlighting the fact that they fail to see your worth and what you bring to the table.
Perhaps they don’t feel valued in their efforts or perhaps they’re afraid you might realize your value and leave them and hence their need to bring your self-esteem down in order to make you believe you need them.
So here I am to remind you to not let that happen.
Remember, unless he makes tons of money per hour, probably your work at home is worth half or more of what he earns out per month.
You just seem to forget that you’re working FOR FREE at home on something you should be both working on equally.
If you’re a wild one (in and out of bed)—
- How much does a prostitute get paid per hour? I do not know. Let’s say 50GBP per hour being optimistic for them.
- How much could it cost them to have the same one at their exclusive disposal if they want to avoid risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases? That alone is hard to afford for anyone.
- How much does a good looking scort charge per hour to go to social and family events with them? I do not know, like 500€ an hour or so?
And well, let’s not talk about the PRICELESS fact that they will never get any sort of emotional connection and real intimacy with them.
I’m well aware that there is a small percentage of men who marry prostitutes. And I see nothing wrong with that. These are the men that go to prostitutes because their shyness or lack of social skills doesn’t allow them to get intimacy with women otherwise. Then they realize that the women doing that job are also human beings who think, feel and may even enjoy their work (especially if they’re self employed and get to choose their own customers) and then they can connect, mostly because these women are paid to do, but then sometimes they can be a match.
If you’re a decent woman who loves having a somewhat beautiful home;
- How much does a cleaner charge per hour? 12GBP
- How much does a cook charge per hour? 12GBP
- How much does a laundry maid charge per hour? 12GBP
And if you’re truly committed and love your family and his and like to have thoughtful gifts with them as well as to invite them over to parties and arrange birthday parties for your kids.
- How much does an admin charge per hour? 12GPB
- How much does an event organizer charge per hour? 12GBP
And if you have kids;
- How much does a surrogate mother charge per pregnancy? I believe they charge somewhere from 15,000 to 20,000GBP.
- How much does a nanny or a nursery cost per hour? 15GBP last time I checked. 36GBP per day last time I had a child in one.
- How much could an exclusive nanny cost per hour? Because, honestly, no professional nanny per hour would risk catching tummy bugs and getting ill for staying at home with your child that woke up sick or ill. They would not be able to look after other kids and lose a lot of paid hours of work.
- How much does a taxi driver cost per trip to take kids to activities, doctor appointments, etc? Let’s say 7GBP per trip.
- How much does a coach charge per hour? Someone has to motive the husband to set up goals and smash them or bring their confidence back up when they’re feeling down. I would say 50GBP per hour.
Well, that’s provided you’re a somewhat skillful, accomplished and faithful wild woman that knows how to look after yourself and always aim to give your best in a relationship to make it work.
Now add the amount of hours you dedicate to each job per month AND DO YOUR MATHS.
I know, there are a lot of women who are not like that, some don’t cook and some don’t even feel like looking after their houses, some apparently don’t even have intimacy with their husbands. but they might be working outside or bring other actions of value that saves him time and effort so he can go to work.
So all that is what usually men get out of a committed relationship or marriage with you FOR FREE.
And giving your best in a relationship to make it work doesn’t mean you ought to sacrifice your own personal goals and dreams and stop being who you usually are just to please them or keep them happy.
And if he can’t see and value all those things you bring to the table unpaid, then tough, he has to go.
Because him making you feel like you’re nothing without him just because you’re not bringing money from an outside employer is just not on.
That’s simply diminishing your worth and belittling all your work to make it look like nothing. And that’s a major red flag for emotional and psychological ABUSE.
But unless you knew how much you should charge for all the things he’s taking for granted you wouldn’t be able to notice the effect such comments are having on your perception of yourself.
So if you are confident you have done all the above for free and out of love, and even sacrificed any career goals you had prior to get together in marriage with him then I believe CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN PLACE.
You are now legally entitled to your half of the house and belongings due to your WORK and DEDICATION to that job of being a wife, a cleaner, a cook, an admin, a laundry maiden, a sex worker, an escort, a mother if you happen to be one, etc.
Honestly, I even forgot about that.
Because he may never see all those hours of work you invested in, but thankfully enough, the law NOW does. Thanks to plenty of women fighting for such rights. Don’t you go and understimate now the EFFORT of million of feminists prior to us who fought for us to have such legal rights, as well as the freedom to be able to work outside the house and be able to become financially independent from men that way.
And why does the law gives you compensatory pay and half the house?
Because by you taking on all those apparently insignificant roles you’ve been ENABLING your husband to be able to go to work and become a reliable member of the staff.
Perhaps that’s why the law seems so unfair to most of these insecure ungrateful men. They all seem completely unable to appreciate all the hours, work and effort that goes unpaid and unrecognized at home. It’s like they took it all for granted from day one or day two after moving in together.
Hence why I recommend you to take all this into consideration before moving in with someone. Don’t take that lightly.
Now…. Last but not least…
Don’t let a man ever define your worth based on your physical appearance.
I also got told ofen half jokingly “you’re lucky you’re so beautiful, when you get older you will have to learn to be nicer”.I mean, that was mindblowing at the time they dropped, I even remember when they told me so. And I was being nice… is not like I’m ever unpolite. So … go figure! ;D.
So I added to the list of things I needed to get rid of that man. I didn’t want that pressure on me. Especially when you’re already sort of “ageing” beautifully ;P.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-DAlWJen8c