Type O Negative suited the mood and the spirit on taking on this last minute modelling adventure I went on a couple of weeks ago with fellow photographer friend David.
And here I have some halloween music selection to enjoy this coming Halloween and perhaps cast some spells in the future only suitable perhaps for those who like dark music.
My outfit it’s a mixture of Sorceress, Druidess and Black Riding Hood I’ve just made up myself. Lol.
To be perceived as a powerful sorceress I recommend listening to; Love me to death. It’s a song that has shaped me in many ways. I’ve never heard something so powerful, so dark, so sensual, so deep and yet so melancholic all at once. And so I fell in love with this song and the feeling described in it. And of course, yes, it brings me memories of the times I used to say it to a special someone back in the past. And the love is still there… to death. I just don’t need to have them in my life or see them to love them.
In fact, listening to that song again I remembered how they once mentioned they also wondered themselves if the were good enough for me. I didn’t know what they were talking about back then. “What does that even mean? why wouldn’t he? does he have bad intentions for me or something? what does he think I want? and why do they think I deserve so much better?”.
Well, I didn’t know then what I know now. And that’s that sometimes there is a huge gap in how we see ourselves and how other people perceive us to be. I thought of myself at that time as me being simply invisible and unwanted and then there were people thinking I was intimidating and thinking very high of myself that didn’t dare come near me. So I guess when they get to see that deep down you’re actually better than they originally thought of you then they start doubting whether their morals and values are up to your standards. Now I’m more aware of that myself too and I try to avoid letting anyone in unless I’m confident they meet the criteria of the type of man I could possibly want for the rest of my life. In the past I just didn’t think at all about the consequences of not having specific standards other than some basic ones.
Now I’m more aware of the effect I cause on certain people, I’m also more aware of my moral values, what I bring to the table and what is that I have that makes other people see me as their cinammon girl, but I’m becoming more and more aware that perhaps I wasn’t born to conform or to compromise much on my freedom and independence.
I’ve always been clear about that goal of going here or there, I’m not one who falls in love and sacrifices her own goals and purpose for love. Nopes. Is not that I don’t know how to love or that I don’t want to love, it’s just it’s not a priority. I can be lovely but as soon as it’s unhealthy or it becomes limiting I’ll be wanting out.
So yes, if you listen to that song often enough bearing that thought of working on your dreams and goals without wanting to be in a relationship for long enough so it’s actually legit you may get them hooked on you for life.
Now to feel like Black Riding Hood, the woman who gets her man so so so so in love that he’s willing to do whatever to please her I recommend yet another of my Type O’ Negative faves. Wolf Moon.
The Black riding hood looks innocent but she’s smarter than the wolf could ever think. Currently applicable as there are some lone wolves out there trying to get the best out of me, and I, well, I occassionally let them ;).
I must admit that as that song says…. I too go casting spells (mostly by accident) and then they end up wanting me to be their druidess but I have other goals in life these days.
One of them is making a living of my photographic skills and my wisdom when it comes to casting spells and it can all be taught hiring a Find Your Wild Side photoshoot or booking a coaching session with me.
In fact ever since I’m 20 I’ve been trying my best to stay single unsuccessfully. But oh well, I’ve entertained love as long as it’s been healthy or didn’t get too much in the way of me achieving my goals or living the life I wanted to live.
Some of those guys may think I was either too cold or too in love with myself. But actually I’m more in love with the power I have to make my dreams come true and all the things I can achieve when I set my mind to it. Or perhaps I’m in love with myself thanks to that power.
But hey. Guess what? That’s exactly the best thing anyone can do for themselves. To be in love with yourselves. It makes you free from other people’s opinions of you. When you don’t need their validation that pisses a lot of people off. They literally can’t control you then.
When I listened to it I already loved my black N1 hair dye. So yes…. I still dye them black black black black n1.
My wild side helps me get what I want when I want it. I don’t use people for an ego-boost nor do I get any pleasure from breaking hearts, nor do I go manipulating people. In fact…. I just want to use my energy on setting goals and achieving them all and I just surround myself with like-minded people with similar power and standards.
You may get labelled… a witch, a bitch, an empress of darkness (for real), a diva (legit too), an evil person, a cold person (often referred as)… whatever they can think of based on how they perceive you. Just remember negative labels and rumours are often born from people who either want to be you, can’t have you or want something you have.