I was cleaning the kitchen when youtube popped up this song randomly and I had to stop before it finished to check the name and add it to my favs playlist before it ended because I could relate to most of what I was getting from the lyrics.
I loved it mostly because of the positive vibes of the song, something told me I had just found one of those songs that go 100% with who I am.
I’m quite a fan of the butterfly metaphore for several reasons myself; hence why I tattooed some even prior to listening to this inspiring Grime’s song.
First one; I do honestly believe the right kind of music at the right time has the power to change lives for good. Unfortunately, the same can be said about the wrong kind of music at the wrong time and here you will find more scientific research about this universal truth and why I use music for my coaching practice.
Second; Butterfly shaped is also the hormone gland that doesn’t work properly in my body and therefore has shaped my entire life experience and made me the person I am today.
“There is nothing in the caterpillar that indicates that one day is going to grow wings”.
And that’s the most beautiful part of the butterfly metaphore for me.
You can feel like utter shit for days, weeks, months or even years on end totally unaware that is not until you embrace that darkness as part of yourself and you embrace it trying to make the most of it that you will finally grow wings to fly out of it.
Third; I guess I’m like a butterfly when it comes to my love life as well. If you treat me kindly I may visit your garden as often as I can but if the garden turns into a hostile, neglected or restrictive environment then I will not visit that garden again.
I can’t be tamed into something I’m not. I’d rather be single for life than in a relationship where I have to sacrifice who I am and the freedom I fought so hard to achieve just to keep someone else in my life.
And it’s quite interesting how that butterfly shaped ring came to me as well.
I saw it and fell in love with it but didn’t buy it at the time because I couldn’t justify yet another expense on myself that day. Luckily my mum who was right next to me and noticed how much I liked it took note of it and bought it not sure if that same day or a week later.
I haven’t taken it off ever since.
I was about to get divorced at that time and I sort of used it as symbol of me commiting exclusively to myself and my own financial freedom goals from that day one onwards.
Fourth: I love the feeling of butterflies inside my tummy. To me those are the moments worth living for.
When do I feel butterflies the most? when I choose to venture out my comfort zone. Those butterflies make me feel alive and vibrant.
I think life should be filled with moments that challenge us in one way or another to do things we think we can’t because that’s the only way we actually discover that we actually can, and also that we should try and experience them, but also because that’s the only way we can grow and create as humans.
So please, do yourself a favour and search for life experiences that will test your limits regularly and make you feel that adrenaline rush of stepping outside your comfort zone. You can’t live the same life experience over 78 years and call it a “life”. That would be more like living the same day 78 years.
Perhaps not all of you want to fly so it’s ok if you want to stay the way you are as long as you’re happy and satisfied with what you are and what you have achieved thus far. And you know you are that way if you don’t envy or criticize anyone harshly for daring to be their true selves and the bravery and happiness they have found after challenging themselves outside their comfort zone. Be those who decide to try a super crazy haircut, those who have a fancy outfit, those who get themselves into a complete different job role, etc.
However most people are not really being genuine one hundred per cent due to fear, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of other people’s opinions of them, etc. And it’s precisely this fear what makes them want to bring down those who dare to be themselves on the daily.
I aim to feel those butterflies on the daily. One may think I’m not doing so, but hell yes, everyday I step outside my comfort zone a little bit more. In fact you have no idea how oustide my comfort zone my entire life currently is.
“Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, don’t swim in the same slough. Stay out of the clutches of mediocrity. Change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you. Reinvigorate yourself and accept what is but only on the terms that you have invented and reinvented. Be self-taught. And reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belongs only to you.”
― Charles Bukowski, The Pleasures of the Damned
And here is my interpretation of the song lyrics.
“Take his shit ….”lol. . Basically, she’s talking about putting up with people who are going to try to put you down constantly just because you are free and they’re not and that irritates their insecure demons. “Maybe not” – I love it. She reminds us that we have a choice. I definitely choose the second any time. Because what you allow will continue and worsen over time.
In fact, it’s the fear to lose a person what makes people lose them in the very first place.
But above all what I think she wants to convey in this song with “if you’re looking for a dream girl. I’ll never be your dream girl” is that butterflies are indeed; beautiful to look at but hard to catch.
And as she continues “looking for a dream girl living in a real world” I think she wants to convey that unless you’re a dreamer yourself you’ll never get to spend time next to such a woman that shines and flies high.
You have to fly as high so you won’t envy nor fear the loss of her presence in your life and therefore it should put you in a position to enjoy or appreciate every minute of that company while it lasts. And as long as you’re not trying to capture them, they will continue to fly around you.
So yes, when butterflies drop nearby… you just have to enjoy their beauty without getting too attached to them because once caterpillars have wings to fly they will use them indeed to fly away from anything that threats their hard earned wings. All you can do to keep their company is to look after your garden and make it a beautiful safe haven for them so they want to come back time and time again to you due to how free and safe they feel in your company.