How to spot game players or time wasters?

See that little clock? Little is also the time I have off kids when I’m not working on either my business of my side hustles. And that obviously makes you sharpen your instinct when it comes to save time and energy when it comes to a lot of things, including men.

Most of these tips to recognize them may seem insignificant or irrelevant at first but feel free to try and test it for yourself like I’ve done several times and you’ll realize there is a certain pattern that seems to definitely work.

Whether you need your spare time to work on yourself or you just want to find someone amazing, all these clues may help;

Because time is our most valuable asset. Use it wisely.

… so here we have some clues…

If the guy finds you or has you on any social media

Did you get a message request or a friend request from a seemingly hot guy?

Great! but before you add him on facebook and allow him to get to know you or potentially hit on you… please do your research first.

Go into his profile and try got get as much info as possible about this new person without having to enquire much about him. The things he shares or the things other people tag him in can help you figure out a lot about this new person;

What are his posts about? 

Despite my business goals to stay as social as possible so I have to invest less in advertising my business I see myself in the need to deny a lot of facebook friend requests.

Basically, I check people thouroughly before adding them because if their values or interests don’t align with mine at all it’s very unlikely that such a person would hire my services or that I would like to work with or for that person or have that much in common with them as to engage in any kind of interesting conversation.

So these days I only add people (well, mostly guys, as not many women send me friend requests) after thouroughly checking their content and then and often times running the risk or fearing they may want to send me a private message I may have to delete.

A guy whose wall content doesn’t excite you or interest you at all….. is a waste of time for you anyway. Spare yourself that time having to find a way to not answer to his potential low effort private messages later.

Do you share any values at all?

Imagine you are a vegan/vegetarian and all into ecology or animal rights… and the guy posts photos of him hunting or going to bullfighting events. Can you already see how those things can clash?. I thought people would but apparently most people don’t even see these things coming until it’s too late so I thought it’s necessary to talk about these things to spare you a lot of time and suffering. Same goes with wanting or not wanting kids, being of a certain political inclination that totally clashes with you or not.

Let’s think about this… time is limited. Why wasting time of your life engaging in conversation and get potentially emotionally attached to people you know you may have to part ways with sooner or later because they don’t share your principles, value, political views, morals or beliefs? Unless you’re very willing to compromise on those, but should you? Plenty of fish in the sea that could make your life ten times better when you can both share same vision of the future or understanding of the world.

If you do like what he posts about, great, then you may not have so many issues if the guy strikes low effort conversation to get your attention, but more on that below

If you don’t share same values and beliefs…

Sometimes you won’t be able to see his values until he shares news from this or that or until you do and one of you disagrees with the other. That doesn’t mean the end of it all, but if you end up having too many conversations of that nature, is like a waste of your time. You may never see his point, he may never see yours…. and in the meantime, a lot of time wasted.

Then is worth noticing how does he go about your differences. Can you both talk about it respectfully? is he willing to see your point of view about it? accept it? respect it? consider it a possibility even?

Or… are you willing to see his point of view? respect it? tolerate it? Some people who have different political views have successful healthy relationships if you can respectfully agree to disagree with no drama involved and if that’s the case then he might not be a waste of your time after all.

And trust me, sometimes being able to agree to disagree with no drama, no defensiveness, no arrogance, etc. is often better than the two of you sharing same political/ideological/philosophical views and lacking respect for each other.

Being conscious and aware of all this right from the get go can spare you a lot of suffering and save you tons of time. Because if you keep track of all the reasons why such a relationship may not work you are less likely to get attached emotionally to them.

How is he interacting with you on Social Media?

How often does he react to your social media posts and what he comments on could also be an indicator of his level of interest in you.

Keep reading to find out if he’s just a time waster.

Does he not click on like or comment on any of your public posts yet he sends you private messages?

Is he sending you a private message just to say” hi” or wave at you without even gone through your profile pictures or shared content and liked or commented on any of it?

Why do you think is that so?

a) he just wants to interact or try getting the attention of any woman, regardless of how she is or what she likes, he’s not interested in getting to know you, he’s interested on getting your attention to get an ego boost or something unclear.

b) could it be that they don’t want to leave public displays of interest and interaction with you at all just in case some other women or their partners are following/stalking their social media life actively and he is now too wise to leave no public trace of his interest in giving himself an ego boost or calling your attention.

Often times, it’s just a combination of both. I don’t want you to become paranoid and think the worst of people, but just keep a conscious eye on this. I would be suspicious of that kind of people. Time wasters and game players definitely do follow that kind of pattern.

Is it only pictures of you he clicks like on or comments on?

He might just find you aesthetically pleasing but he does not care at all about the real you. Nor he will lift a finger to date you.

So unless he starts showing interests in other areas of your life this might just be physical attraction and that doesn’t have much substance. So you’re better off cutting any private message interaction at all, unless you want to get attached to someone who is just not all that invested into getting to know you or make a move. But I don’t recommend women make a move on these type of men at all. In fact, I don’t recommend any woman to chase any men at all?

Does he like your thoughtful posts about subjects or values that are important to you?

Here you might have a keeper…

If he likes and comments on different posts or photos that highlight your daily activities or interests as well as your profile photos or thoughtful posts then here you may have someone genuinely interested in what you publicly display about yourself (and hopefully you are the same person in real life as you are on your social media) so then we can say that he’s actually interested in you on a healthy level.  

Those might be less of a waste of your time… but he’d only be a keeper or less of a time waste if he actually pushes the button and asks you out instead of trying to keep you somewhat emotionally invested in him by creating conversation when you know he’s not currently meeting your dating standards or he’s not living near you, so what’s the point?. Like, I appreciate your interest, but hell no, I only want real men who I can date as we speak, the following day or the following week the latest.

Is he sharing anything at all about his private life on social media so you have no clue of what his values are or what he likes?

Then perhaps he’s just a bit of a boring individual who doesn’t get moved by anthing at all. And that’s worrying for me. If no song moves you enough to share it, no movie speech catches your attention, they don’t share a wisdom quote or any of that nature….. does that person even think or have a heart?. I may be wrong, but confident people don’t mind sharing their point of view about certain subjects or topics because they’re not fearing the opinion of others or the possibility of being rejected by them expresing their genuine opinion.

There is also the possibility you may argue that it may be the opposite, as some people say that “insecurities are loud, confidence is quiet”. So perhaps he’s a very confident private individual who doesn’t like to give clues about his amazing private personal life, feelings, way of experiencing life and facts that shock him and that’s all about it. But I haven’t met any man or woman that way yet. But yes, just because I haven’t, doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but just keep an eye for this details and insights before adding them on to your social media or before wasting any of your time engaging into any conversation.

Up to you how much you like a mystery and how attractive you find the guy to actually go for it and dig out some more information. I prefer people who are up front and genuine.

Also keep an eye on this:

Does he have a lot of comments on his photos? how does he interact with other people?

If that person doesn’t have comments at all in their photos…it worries me… like… are they conceited tight arseholes who have no friends at all or is it just a fake profile they have created to go adding strangers and chatting to other women?. And if he has comments then I also pay attention to how he replies to them, as that could give me clues of how humble/conceited or considerate he is.

Do they only say Hello or wave at you via private message?

Just the fact that they haven’t liked anything of what you say or you post really comes to show you’re just like any other woman to them and they’re just using you for that ego-boost it gives them when a woman pays him attention.

Imagine how many women he can just drop these minimal effort one-liners to? It’s just an easy and simple low investment technique to get attention from women.

I have tried and tested the basic guys who try this approach, if you reply and try to engage him in conversation… he will be just like asking the basics (age, location, profession, etc), in other words BORING and PREDICTABLE. Even if you’re so fun and original that you can turn any kind of boring and predictable conversation around…. is he really worth you blowing his mind of when he’s clearly not matching your creativity and singularity? Chances are, no, he’s not worth your while. Save that for the guy who will come to you from a place of full appreciation and impressed by either your work, your vision of the world, etc etc.

I had played different roles with these type of men I get coming regularly on my facebook inbox to test my theories on them… since they come on their own. I have tried just to reciprocate their level of investment, just replying with a basic “hi back” to see what they do… the conversation becomes predictable after that. I have pretended to be boring, predictable, a pick me up girl who feels flattered, and all sorts. And guess what? the end result is all the same. Yes, if you’re engaging he’s obviously going to feel interested and willing to talk to you again and again, but he’s just gonna try to string you along or breadcrumb you without putting any effort into getting to know you. This will soon be driving you nuts… like… “why is he inconsistent in his attentions? Seems he likes me but he doesn’t ask me out?”, etc. Especially if he’s one of those guys who don’t like your public posts and he’s now asking you out. What is really going on? By the way, make sure he meets your standards too before engaging into conversation. Some of my biggest ones are very easy for me to recognize.

And if they’ve got a relationship or another romantic interest they don’t want to put off by showing too much interest on me, either way, they’re gonna have to want to find time to meet me in person for me to even consider them a possibility. Since guys with girlfriends would rarely do that because they only want an ego boost, there you go, way to spot them. Cut them off, don’t let them waste any of your time. If you build rapport but he’s not asking you out in two or three conversations, forget about that guy and focus on your work or life goals, those will never leave you or betray you.

If you pursue this kind of man he will find a way to delay meeting in person and it will be obvious all he wants from you is just some online interaction to give him a quick and easy ego boost and if you reply to such low effort attempts you will be just that for him. And nothing more. A waste of your time.

If you meet them in person FIRST…

If I meet them in person and he doesn’t ask for my details I don’t ask either.

If he asks for your number or details and he doesn’t contact you in a week or two I would consider blocking his number. Because if he can’t follow through with a simple promise he makes that night he will not keep any in the future. So why bother dating him further? Time waster.

And if you have met by random chance… e.g. working in the same building, having some friends in common, etc… unless he has all the attributes I would really find a “must” in a man I would not make a move. Let him be the one who pushes the button.

And if he doesn’t… them R.I.P to that guy from that moment onwards.

Unless his behaviour changes completely and for that he’s gonna have to find a way to contact me that is not the usual…. and good luck for that. I avoid them because the majority of guys can’t think outside the box. And those who are intelligent enough to figure out how to find me… will be the only ones who will be worth my while.

Once you’re dating

Perhaps you’re already dating this person and therefore failed to dodge such a bullet right from the start and now you have developed feelings for this person and would like him to take things further…. like asking you to move in together, making a statement regarding you in his future, and so on…. but after three or four months he’s not.

Well… such a man is already a time waster.

Well, it depends on what you want.

But if you want commitment you need to know that a man who is really into you …. waists no time making his mind up. They are confident of what they want. If they’re wishy-washy and not consistent in their affections for you, they’re all that not interested in you. They usually be very explicit about their intentions towards you right from the start. But don’t believe anything they say. Of course…. just test them out on consistency before committing yourself to any kind of relationship yourself.

Make the most of dating to ensure he meets all your standards…. and not that one of paying you some kind of attention

Wild women I know are not focused on stability at all. Our comfort zone is not to have a comfort zone. We’re all ready to walk away if the man no longer proves worthy of our time investment in them. And I think that gets men insanely attracted to us. We are the very opposite of clingy yet warm and spontaneous. Guys love a woman who is not like desperate to have a relationship status. They just want some amazing company to have fun with. And if you’re stressed about where yous stand with him…. it takes the fun out of it. When you become that woman… they’ll naturally want to be with you as much as they physically can.

And yes, talking about being physically present…. avoid long distance relationships with complete strangers. Stop getting emotionally attached to a person you can’t see and you can’t touch in the near future. E.g. they live too far away or they don’t have money to come and visit you as soon as possible. How do you expect is going to work?

And when a man is determined and focus on you. As soon as they can is in less than a day or week. The right wild king can make such a gesture for you. Because exceptional people worth getting to invest your time are actually doers.

And if you don’t trust me … take it from this man who has 11 books on human behaviour to reassure you this is a fact. Listen after minute 30.

Make no time for suckers

I will recommend you only entertain those who show a real keen interest in you. Those who do actually follow through with actions what they say to you with words. Trust actions and you’ll never be fooled by their words.

If a guy ghosts on you or takes longer than necessary to reply back or never calls back when he says he will…take it as it is. As an amazing red flag or a warning sign he’s not the kind of person you want to date or end up with.

I would end things right there before he starts stringing me along.

Not even questioning or enquiring why. Just block him.

The sooner you add the standard above in your life the better.

Here are some other basic standards I would recommend any other woman to keep in mind to avoid wasting time on the wrong kind of person for you.

So here is a song that could help you remember what are the basic traits of time wasters or time suckers and to keep you focused on avoid men who take too much of your time and give too little.

Avoid game players and time wasters…. focus on the opposite instead.

The standard to call my attention these days is too high. I must confess that it’s hard to reach and I like it that way.

I would rather be approached once a year or once in a lifetime by an exceptional person than 5 times a day by the little insecure men in need of an ego-boost.

Learn from my mistakes.

Regarding adding people who don’t meet any of my standards or have any values in common with me via facebook I sometimes didn’t find them all that interesting but said; “who cares? let’s have some variety, let’s get to know new people and be able to promote my business further” and as soon as I received a private message from them…. waving or saying “hi”… I instantly regretted it.

And I love getting to know new people, don’t get me wrong, but I see no point when I already know from his way of approaching me he’s not impressing me much at all. I only add some if I want to test new theories out.

And yes, wild women have the ability of turning any not emotionally available man into an emotionally available man for us…

But is it worth it? Long story short is…. NOT THAT MUCH or NOT IN THE LONG RUN.

The longest relationships I have had were the ones I didn’t even plan to have and was always willing and ready to run away from. I should have definitely run away from some of them the moment I saw the first red flags that these men didn’t meet my standards at all.

Actually worse…. when I saw them and I walked away, my mistake was to even let them know why I walked away. Yes…. I allowed them to raise to my standards…. but guess what?

If they don’t raise to my standards because they’re that type of men…. it will rever back eventually to the person they really are. Because those standards are not the way he treats women… or not the way he behaves in a relationship.

So once he gets you hooked he’ll just be himself and then you’ll be wondering… what went wrong? why is he not so invested anymore?…

So in the end, they were only a waste of our time because they weren’t themselves… they were only trying to impress us to get us… but then you’re left with someone who is not who they pretended to be and failing at keeping that standard and being inconsistent at it will show up in your life as daily drama. Is just better to be single than in the wrong relationship with the wrong person.

It’s way better to only get and date wild kings instead. ;D

And wild women may still refuse the attentions of those… .because they’re busy pursuing other life goals.

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