Well… as I’ve said on my previous blog entry this year I’m planning to have my business, time management and belongings 100% under control this year.
So for me that means no love relationships at all. This approach may seem harsh, dramatic and crazy to some people but relationships take a lot of time and sacrifices that I’m not ready to make at the moment.
After all, with a business to run, a project or two I’m always working on, two children to nurture and feed and a house to keep up and running I can rarely find the time to actually have a proper relationship.
I know… I’m all black and white thinking perhaps. Most people seem to think they really need a relationship to be themselves so they can’t get it. Most people don’t even know how to live single. But as this song reminds me… one can have their own laws when it comes to meet them and I guess it’s a crazy law–ra thing to do, but it’s my life my rules.
I guess feel more like myself when I’m single, the same way I’m more willing and inspired to thrive on my business when not being in a relationship.
And of course that means not being available on dating apps and no chatting with strangers on facebook, instagram or any social media at all.
NO?? Why not?
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. And most guys seem to be just time wasters (learn here how to spot them) or they simply suck at getting me remotely interested, so getting to know new guys for the sake of doing so it’s just not fun anymore.
And yes, I know, there are still some super caring and worth dating wild kings out there who deserve all my attention. If I had some time to spare on love I would choose in between any of those. But even those have a very limited access to me because after a while dating me they want a relationship that at the moment I’m not ready to offer.
Besides, my dating and relationships standards have always been perceived as higher than the average. I believe this is because most women don’t even have basic standards. So…yes, my standards are way above the basic ones and most men can’t even reach to basic. Therefore unreacheable and impossible is where I’m currently at.
Not because I’m being conceited or because I think I’m super pretty. No, this has got nothing to do with me feeling superior or above anyone else. It’s simply because I have decided just to prioritize myself and my goals.
Yes, there was a time in my life where I deviated from my career ambitions and I went to pursue that goal of having a relationship, and that somehow ended up in marriage and kids. Funnily enough all that I always said I wouldn’t end up doing.
I guess back in the day I confused my gut instinct telling me I was not the kind of person to be fit for marriage/kids with a “fear of committment” issue and I honestly hate to be afraid of doing things.
And me already being the fearLESS person I was I asked myself at the time. “Why am I reticent to it? What am I afraid of? is it love? is it commitment? is it having kids? is it giving birth? is it the fear of not being responsible enough to raise kids?” or “am I just saying we’re not a great fit just because I see some issues to work on as red flags? Bring it all, I’ll find out what I’m actually made of”. So I challenged myself on that area of life.
And for a while I did a great job at it. I even got the “wonderful wife” badge, and I literally tried everything under the sun to make the marriage work until I realized why it was never going to work out with that person so I had to leave.
Luckily it wasn’t all bad and it turned out I’m a better mum than I ever expected to be and I love to nurture and lavish my kids teaching them to be confident in their skills, confident in their looks, confident in the fact they can become whatever they want to become whilst teaching them to respect other people and, of course, their mum. And having children is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
So once I challenged myself on that sense now I’m very aware that this decision of staying single is not out of fear of love or commitment. If anything is out of fear of wasting my time with the wrong person. Once I achieve all my mind has set to achieve on my own I might soften my grip a bit on this sense.
My 2022 self editing this entry who has most of those goals achieved has set herself this wonderful love challenge which is a great excuse to keep delaying love relationships from happening.
So… excuse me if I completely ignore your “hi”s on facebook or even have to block you there, these days hardly anyone manages to impress me enough as to justify me deviating from my work goals. But those who can manage will be welcome.
And I also feel kind of sorry for the ones who try to get to me under false business pretenses to actually seek a serious committed relationship with me. I feel extremely flattered that you work hard to get what you want -and that what you want is actually me- but perhaps you guys could have done your background research prior to that and save yourselves the disappointment and heartache of finding out that I’m not the kind of woman to fall in love, trip and drop anything else for “love”. I have not been working hard to become financially independent for a couple of years now to have to be careful and mindful of who I make business with just in case me taking male clients makes my partner feel disrespected, excluded, jealous or insecure. I don’t want my business decisions to hurt my potential partners in any way, I do not need that kind of emotional manipulations or limitations in my life. Swish swish.
So I have been forced lately to raise my standards even higher to ensure I achieve all my professional and personal growth goals without feeling like I’m breaking hearts and/or being a bitch when all I’m trying to do is to become emotionally and financially independent.
Ever since 2020 I choose money because as Lisa sings “that’s the shit that will never bounce on ya”.
Unless I find the love that money can’t buy I only have…
Sorry, not sorry… I keep going so-lo-lau-law
And I guess it’s this attitude to go for what you truly want and avoid things and men not meant for me that makes me “pretty savage”.
In fact I’m currently thinking on offering something crazy.
A full week for women to perform a mental diet, to think about what they truly want to achieve in life and a massive confidence boost to get their self esteem back on track in order to become these fearless emotionally and financially independent queens that get whatever they want in life.
But there is no need for you to be single, I choose to do so to focus more on my business but you can aim to have both if you want to, being independent only gives you the power to walk away easily if things go South. But as long as they respect you and your decisions you can do great in a relationship.
I might extend this offer to men who want to do the same for themselves, as it seems a lot of men are not even aware of their value and they waste it, likewise a lot of them let themselves be fooled and end up having reat economic losses out of “love” if they’re not careful. Here I would teach them how to recognize a gold digger from a genuine loving soul. And yes, you can trust me. I could have kept the house and leave my ex husband penniless. But I chose to move out and then I came back and bought his half of the house because that’s what I deem “fair”, and also, I didn’t want his money, I didn’t marry him because of it. I much rather have debt to pay now and call it “my own”. A lot of men also seem lost in terms of what they can offer these women they’d die for but don’t even aspire to get anywhere near them because they seem to have it all. Here they will be enlightened as to what these queens could potentially need or want from you, and relax, it’s got nothing to do with money. I’m talking about things that money can’t buy.
More info about these wild holidays here.