That’s an old song that popped up recently on youtube for me which reminded me to talk a bit more in depth about this standard when it comes to give any man time of the day.
Let the man make the move.
How do I know this?
At least that’s how I have experienced it plenty of times in the past years but I can’t remember last time I made a move or initiated any contact with a man myself to show any kind of interest, so here is my latest experiment testing my theory (which of course proves me right). ;D
Why is this standard so important?
See, real men that are really interested in you will “push that button” the sooner the better because they don’t want to risk sending you the wrong idea about their feelings for you. If they really want you they will want to try to capture your attention and secure you as soon as possible. Period.
Any guy who has had a slight chance to get to know me (after I reached 21) has either asked for any kind of contact details before I/he left the scenario where we met and later confessed!. And quite a lot of them also showed their feelings and interests straight away (and sealed trying or actually kissing me within two hours on our first date) or would text me within less than 24 hours to let me know blown away they were about my character and how much fun they had with me or getting to know me and already mentioning availability or even plans.
Summary: When they really like you and want you they don’t waste much time at making up their minds or expressing their feelings, interest or pursuing you actively and consistently.
This soon became a standard I wasn’t consciously aware of having as a teenager. But I did have it. I used to call it gut feeling… like I knew something was off… like: “yeah, he does this, he does that, most can tell the kind of intensity he looks into my eyes… etc. But then… why doesn’t he ask me out properly?”.
Deep down I guess I knew something was off or missing if the guy hadn’t confessed exactly how he felt or didn’t ask me out within certain weeks after getting to know me. These days my worth must have increased lol. Some even asked me out and I still felt something was odd or missing. Trust your gut instinct… perhaps it knows they like you but why they don’t make a clear cut move that shows they are ready for you… and open up explicitly about it.. then something is off or odd.
And what happens with those who don’t have your contact details? how are they going to let you know they are interested?
Do not stress, do not panic…. if he really likes you back you will bump into him when you least expect it. Sometimes it happens in less than a week and sometimes it happens as many times as three in that same weekend in a large city you’re visiting. I certainly had that happening to me.
Sometimes the way life crosses people on your path becomes ever so pervasive that is impossible to miss that person. Nevermind how reluctant you are to get involved in a romantic relationship with them because you have other goals.
And as little as I like deluding myself with the idea my instincts about those guys really liking me…. some guys have even confirmed to me that the reason why we kept bumping into each other after we met was because they had been intensively thinking about me non-stop since we first crossed eyes. So I hope that confirms it for you.
What happens if you keep bumping into someone and it seems like it’s meant to be be but they’re not making a move?
Here is where the standard comes in handy.
I basically raised my standards so high that if I meet such a guy and he’s not pushing the button as soon as he’s met me or in less than 24 hours then I quickly lose interest and cut him out completely. I delete him from my phone, social media and stuff.
In fact, if you want an outstanding and amazing relationship keep yourselves as far and as away as possible from men who like easy or low investment moves.
But also do not forget to be outstanding value yourself…so you can ask for outstanding value too. It has to go both ways. You can’t hold standards you can’t keep for yourself. That would be having “double standards”. Some for you and some for them. It’s not fair to ask of them to be fit and healthy whilst you eat junk food and barely exercise, it’s not fair to demand they’re economically and financially stable when you’re not so yourself. And so on.
However some standards are negotiable and you can be ambitious enough to trade some of yours for some of them. E.g. Perhaps he’s got the financial stability you want a man to have and you have the cooking skills that makes any house a home to go back to. Guys have the instinct to provide and help and need to feel useful… and us women… apparently we have the ability to show emotions they crave.
Should we do as they say in the song and show off our assets or display the freak we control?
I don’t know about you but the wild women I know can’t afford the luxury of being and expressing their sensual selves 24/7.
We know we can cast spells with just a gaze into their eyes without even planning to. So we’re very careful trying to be standoffish with men who we are sure we don’t want to attract or men we find attractive but we are not sure yet whether they meet our other standards. and until we are confident they do… what’s the point of risking getting their attention by being our real selves? Trevor knows this… lol.
Scientific research tell us we deliberatedly show as unathentic to people we’re not 100% interested in because we are designed to be indifferent to the 7 million people who populate earth.
Don’t believe me? watch this video here (around minute 12 he actually confirms my theory and justifies our willingness to control the freak we control). Because Friends and enemy require too much time and effort. Abd we don’t want more guys than we can actually have time to date in a lifetime lining up for a date to later find out they don’t quite meet the standard.
Why so many standards and rules? why making it all so complicated?
It’s actually very simple, experience has taught most wild women the hard way that not every attention is wanted or even welcomed. So we only save our best assets for the ones who deserve to see them. Simple, isn’t it?
So we get rid of most of contestants in trying to get our attention by setting and raising our standards. 😉
So these days if we’re gonna risk being called, divas, sluts, merciless, heart breakers, homewreckers, whores, black magic women and what not… we better at least ensure those guys we actually give them an opportunity to get to know the real us…. are at least somewhat courageous enough to push the button.
Why? Because rejection scares the hell out of most insecure men. And we want men who actually like stepping outside their comfort zones and dare chase for a rare hell of a hunt.
And each time we tried to avoid or ignore these standards and made exceptions to such rules we ended up regretting it way too much to actually ever skip such standards again.
Why? because It’s way easier to not let him in than it is to get them out. So the harder they have to push to get in the more they will appreciate it and the less they will take you for granted.
“How obvious should a girl be?“
So if he has managed to call your attention and he’s not making a move…
What should you do? Nothing at all…just sit back and relax do your work… and if really in a going out mood or feeling like obsessing about anyone in particular just go out and date as many times as you want with the only intention of just having fun out and about.
The man who is really really really interested in you will make it known.
And I’m all in for gender equality and equal rights by the way… but that hasn’t stopped me from realizing lately that the men I really been looking forward to meet are the hunters and go getters who love a good challenge when they see one. And for that they’re gonna have to read between the lines of my unathentic behaviour. Hard… I know. ;D. I just want to be single. Those who don’t will be showing more of themselves straight away with all the guys without ensuring these guys meet all their standards, just depending on their priorities at the time.
I think women make subtle moves first to indicate attraction towards them though. That’s how we make ourselves be noticed by them to begin with.
We either walk past them, look at them, smile at them or gaze straight into their eyes back if we like what we see in his gaze. And I mean a real intense look into their eyes. A Toni Braxton one as in the video below.
And that’s all the moves I recommend making for ladies to make, unless you, like me, are fearless and not scared to drive men away because you are not desperate to find a man….unless he’s the man you really want him to be.
So avoid contacting the guy unless you want to effectively put him off of you so you can continue to be single until someone actually meets all your standards. This one of pressing the button included.
In general, the advice is just to be patient and let him do the work.
If he’s not calling, not chatting you up or not following through with actions with what he claims he feels for you… then he’s just not that into you. So don’t force it. You want the man that is all that into you instead.
Because if he were really interested in you and he is not making a move there are no making a move is either because he’s all into someone else or scared as hell to catch feelings for you and both possibilities… among others I haven’t thought of…. could be a clear sign that he’s just not emotionally available at the moment or just trying to get another woman’s attention or who knows. And you don’t want that, do you?.
So unless you like helpless insecure men who are either emotionally unavailable or unsure about their feelings for you I would strongly recommend you to implemet this standard and save yourself from unnecessary heartache and drama.
I would only welcome they type of gents who are decisive, who take risks, also called alpha men, who don’t go for easy prey. The wild kings… and yes… they do exist. And it feels amazing when you meet a man who doesn’t even make you doubt for a second of his interest in getting to know you better.
Add this song to the playlist of set standards for single ladies and this song will kindly remind you of it.
Ask yourself instead .. why would you even want to be with a man who is not trying his hardest to impress you?
This is not something you tell him, standards are just a guide for you to measure and gauge their interest based on the relationship you want.
So guys… don’t hold back… I like to have my fun. But I haven’t gone out to play lately… and as soon as we’re lifted of the social distancing…. I’ll be the first one out to celebrate it.
And although I used to be a disco diva you are more likely to find me listening to this alternative stuff instead.
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