Being emotionally independent is the best standard a woman can ever have going on for herself.
Because they won’t feel themselves victims of any emotional, financial, physical or psychological abuse from anyone. Read all below.
How can you become financially independent?
By prioritizing your student or your career goals above all so you can earn or make money on your own. Even if you are still young and depend on parents, just make sure you have various or different sources of money coming in regularly.
How to become emotionally independent?
Sadly, that is usually learnt when a lot of people let you down time and time again and eventually you find yourself alone yet surrounded by people. So you eventually learn not to count on people. Period.
If you got lucky enough not to go through this experience, then mentally prepare yourself in advance for the loss of a person or animal. Think of them all dead if you need to. And then everyday it’s an opportunity you should cherish because it turns out they’re still around, but you’re sort of ready so your world doesn’t fall apart the moment they won’t.
But surely someone has let you down in the past and you have felt alone and you overcame whatever fear you had of being alone at that time and you surely realized that fear of it was worse than the thing you were fearing itself.
Basically, you have to face fear and do it anyway. But once you know you’re capable of that, you know you’re practically capable of doing everything. And that’s empowering.
Why is this standard so important?
Most women see themselves trapped in abusive relationships because they lack either the emotional independence or the financial independence to get away from such toxic relationships.
How becoming financially and emotionally independent could end with domestic violence of any kind?
Just having the emotional independence alone will help you want to escape from any abusive situation or relationship at all costs. You won’t be afraid to be without that person to begin with. And if you’re financially free as well, then you won’t need them at all. So they just become dispensable. You can love them as long as they love you back. The moment they start mistreating you… that’s the moment you should walk out.
If you have the financial freedom to go along with the emotional independence then getting out it’s way easier than just without. But some have this financial independence and yet they won’t leave because they feel emotionally tied to this person/relaitonship and they won’t to leave. It’s usually the situation for most men.
So if you have both, you’ve got twice as much walking power to demand respect and to walk away if respect is not being paid.
If you truly have both you would not put up with such a situation. Because when you have both no one can bring you down or abuse you in any way.
Why having those is a game changer?
When you’re not afraid of losing people you’ve reached a new level of power and confidence.
You simply won’t tolerate the slightest form of direspect or abuse.
You won’t entertain disrespectful people at all, so you won’t let them ruin your life in any possible way.
Nobody can love-bomb you enough to make you lose sight of who you really are without them. Nobody can knock you down of a pedestal that you’ve already built for yourself based on your own opinion of yourself.
Because the opinion these women have of themselves are based on their own merits and their own opinion of themselves, not based on the opinion their partners have of them.
So they won’t let such critical hurtful opinions sink in. They’ll just be alert and aware and also angry that their partner, a.k.a the person who is supposed to love them and support them the most, is actually trying to destroy them and denying it.
And the moment they realize these battles are nothing but an endless waste of time and energy, they’ll leave the relationship just to have mental peace and be able to carry on with other life goals that don’t involve a relationship.
They were not in because they needed company, they were not in because they need their money, they were in that relationship because they loved who their partner presented themselves to be at first but since their partner turned more into the enemy, it wouldn’t make sense to be with them anymore if they were going to make war instead of making love.
Some men may not start abusive straight away, they may get abusive when they notice that the confidence these women have is way higher than they had anticipated and that they’re ten times more attractive to other men than they had originally realized. Then it’s when they get scared, then it’s when their confidence feels threatened and his insecurity levels rise up and the power games begin. And then it’s when they may start turning emotionally or psychologically abusive as a way to “wrongly” try to secure their women by their side.
Insecure men seem to think that by trying to minimize their women’s opinion and constantly feed them negative criticism somehow is going to make these women feel like they need their man.
So these men try to dim their light and make them feel less attractive and more afraid of doing what they’ve been doing all along alone just in hopes these women become smaller and fell powerless without their man’s company, opinion or validation for everything she does. They may even try to make them start doubting of all their skills and abilities if they’re not careful.
And most women, nevermind how strong and confident can fall for it. We all want to think the best of our partner. We think “perhaps he’s right and I’m wrong”. But eventually realize, perhaps not.
This behaviour unfortunately is not all that effective with wild confident women who know their worth and who are emotionally independent enough to know everything they had in their lives so far is because they’re who they are… not because of the person they have next to them.
Needless to say this behaviour will always backfire with a wild woman who knows her worth and is not afraid to be on her own. Also she wouldn’t like to let him think he can disrespet her or treat her that way. If you disrespect her she will go to war to defend her boundaries and you will lose her there.
And, obviously, this kind of free independently run woman will intimidate insecure boys who do not have the slightest idea on how to add value into your life, thinking they need to do way more than they actually have to do.
But that’s ok, as a woman you’re better off with a man who instinctively knows how to add value to your life enough to see you fly without feeling threatened by your light, your power and your freedom because he enjoys his own amount of that himself.
But regardless of whether you are a financially fully independent woman yet or not, chances are that if you survived being single at any given moment in your life prior to a relationship, trust me, you do not need a man, so do not let anyone convince you of the opposite.
You may want one…and that’s a completely different story and it feels completely different when there are no power struggles on their side to try to make you feel like you do need him to survive or to be valuable. As that’s usually the technique the small insecure men try to use.
Regular men don’t want to be needed that much either. They may want to be wanted or loved instead. But do all of them deserve it if they go texting other women?… maybe not.
A confident wise man will totally appreciate you for being yourself and will encourage you to always shine as bright as you can. Sometimes you looking good alone and being by their side makes them all feel all proud of themselves. Like; look at the woman I have.
However insecure men feel inadequate and undeserving so they may try to do anything in their power to make you go mad or abusive just so they feel like they deserve you in one way or another. Like… you’re too good to be true and they can’t justify to themselves having you by their side so then they go texting other women… so if they drive you mad and you explode then they can say “see? you’re jealous, you’re crazy, etc”.
How to feel all that confident if you haven’t got a career or the financial freedom?
It’s hard to feel confident when it seems like you haven’t earned a huge amount of income in the professional career like your partner or ex partner has, it may make you feel less entitled to the property or goods you both own. As they may try to make sure you know “you wouldn’t have anything of that if it weren’t for me”, such an insecure man will try to make you think that way. And that’s how you recognize how little and undeserving they are of your company. The moment they say that then it’s probably the moment you need to run to the hills. Like I did.
Your work such earn you thousands you just forget that it’s unpaid
How much does a nanny or nursery cost? how much does a cleaner earn per day? How much does a cook get paid per hour? how much does an admin cost? how much does a surrogate mother cost? ohhh… And if you’re a wild one… could they have ever possibly afford having a sex worker nearly every other day to have mindblowing sex at their disposal without risks of catching sexually transmitted diseases and with that level of emotional connection and intimacy they were having with you? Probably that would be tooo expensive to afford!!.
Because that’s priceless, that you may only get it in a relationship, and sometimes not even in those, as most people complain they don’t have sex with their partners at all, and apparently those who do often complain that sex is mostly predictable, boring or uneventful.
So there you go. Not sure how much he earns outside the house on a daily basis but if you have kids and you are stay at home mum and a good wife then your job is priceless.
And if he can’t see all that you bring to the table, then tough. But to make you feel like you’re nothing just because you’re not bringing money from an outside employer? that’s demeaning your worth and it’s considered a form of mild abuse too. You work for the relationship, you work at home looking after the kid so he can go to work. You work being there for him when he comes back home.
So if you’ve done all that out of love and sacrificed, in the process, any career goals you had prior to get together or married then I believe congratulations are in place. You are now legally entitled to your half the house due to your WORK and DEDICATION to that job of being a wife, a partner, a cleaner, an admin, a baby sitter (if you have babies), a chauffer, a cook, a sex worker and a therapist to your partner or your kids.
Perhaps that’s why the law seems so unfair to these men; they are never able to see all you have sacrificed and all the unpaid effort you put into making the marriage work because they soon took it all for granted. The same could be said for men who are stay at home dads, but this entry is aimed for women standards to have.
Why you shouldn’t need anyone?
Sadly… as you can see…. when you have no standards and you need someone ….it may fuck your life up. Beautiful new song I’ve discovered but which points out why relationships go insane and crazy. It’s because “the needing”.
Now… when you want… it’s a different thing. You’re less bothered about what men do, whether they stick around or not. You are so cool and you have a life full of your own stuff…. a relationship is not everything, a man’s love or attention is not everything to you… then you’re less bothered about what he’s doing and more focused on how what he’s doing is impacting your life in a good or a negative way.
Here below is the importance of being emotionally independent… even though you may not be financially independent yet. But the thing is that being emotionally independent can save your life and prevent abusive/toxic codepedent relationships.
And if all of a sudden he seems more like just bringing unsolicited negative criticism and belittling actions you consider unecessary plus he acts weird in the sense of closing his laptop straight away the moment you walk into the room he is… then you’ll be less worried about where the relationship is going and more concerned about getting yourself out of such a relationship no longer worth having.
Not my fault at some point they thought they could get away with it with no price to pay. Oh no…. told you I can be the baddest out there. Not only because I seem to be very attractive to men… but because my comfort zone is no comfort zone at all. And you can’t secure me with anything other than the right attention and dedication.
Can a man text other ladies when he’s with me?… sure, absolutely. But the moment I find out or catch them act like they’ve got a text to hide or slacking with their attentions to me lately… it’s game over for them. They may just not realize that it’s over for them yet, but they will find out as soon as I can find my way out.
That is no threat to my self esteem or confidence at all if a man talks to other women, good luck for them finding someone like me, but to me once loyalty, respect and trust are broken then a relationship becomes pointless and such an ugly sight of explosive negative emotions that I would rather avoid. But if they insist on trying to make it work wasting my time on something I no longer find value in keeping ….. it only gets worse and my wanting to plan my escape will be implemented when he may least expect it. Is it a blow?… not sure. I would consider they started it by fucking up something that otherwise could be eternally beautiful by daring to go texting other women and do weird things that show a lack of respect.
And guess what? you’ve got to be either financially independent or emotionally independent to walk away when a man disrespects you like that. And you don’t threat them either with walking away… you just do so… when they least expect you to. In fact, yes I do remember one of my partners confessing they were always thrileld not knowing if they’d find me home on their way back. I guess they knew they sort of deserved that I would do that eventually, perhaps that’s why they wanted to “secure” me. Unfortunately the only way you can secure a wild one like me is with positive exclusive attention, dedication and kindness.
And actually, it’s just best and safer when you only entertain men who bring the best out in you, not your most evil revengeful self when you actually realize the man is not entirely dedicated to you and worth any of your time, care, dedication and faithfulness.
This standard is mainly for women who want to enjoy life with only the best of the best of men out there. And yes, there are kings out there and I found one in less than two weeks out and about on my own. Probably because I wasn’t even looking for one. But when you keep your confidence and self respect intact at all times… that’s what you get the moment you free yourself from relaitonships that no longer work for you.
But also they should demand that the men they’re willing to entertain have their own financial freedom or else your relationship will be very limited in regards of things they can do or enjoy together.
Only men who are financially debt free might be able to entertain a woman like you without being stingy or feeling insecure or intimidated for all your walking power. They know they can treat you so so so good you’ll never find reasons to walk away from them other than you wanting to be on your own by your own personal choice.
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