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That’s an old song that popped up recently on youtube for me which reminded me to talk a bit more in-depth about this standard when it comes to giving men any time of the day.

Let the man make the move.

Trust me, it’s better for women when the man does the move.

How do I know this?

Over twenty years of experience on this topic. And in my experience as a somewhat rebellious woman who is used to get her way and who was not scared of making a move first I definitely managed to regret making the first move over the years.

So yes, I “had” the guy I wanted, but it didn’t go the way I wanted. Probably because I ignored biological laws. But it did when the opposite thing happened, which leads me to believe biology makes sense .

Why is this standard so important?

Men that are really interested in you and that will be worth your while will “push that button” the sooner the better because they don’t want to risk losing an opportunity with you.

This soon became an unconscious standard as a teenager. If I liked a guy but something didn’t really add up I would say to myself: “yeah, he does this, he does that, and it seems as if he likes me, but if he really does…. why is he not asking me out properly?”. And that made me ignore him and move on, which eventually resulted in him coming to me time and time again.

Deep down I guess I knew something was off or missing if the guy hadn’t confessed exactly how he felt or didn’t ask me out within certain days after getting to know me or after certain incidents happened.

These days my worth must have increased quite a lot, guys usually ask me out straight away but if something feels odd or off I don’t entertain that possibility and I move on. Their fault if they think they can take my interest for granted. I quickly lose it at the slightest incoherence between their words and their actions.

And what happens with those you like but don’t even have your contact details? how are they going to let you know they are interested?

Do not stress! do not panic! if he really likes you back you will bump into him when you least expect it.

Sometimes it happens twice in a week after you met them and sometimes it happens as many times as three in the same weekend in a large city you’re visiting. I certainly had that happening to me.

Sometimes the way life puts people on your path becomes ever so pervasive that is impossible to miss that person, even if you tried. Never mind how reluctant you are to get involved in a romantic relationship with them because you have other goals in life.

And as little as I like deluding myself with the idea that if such thing happens it must mean that they like me…. usually my instincts have never let me down on this and some guys have even confirmed it to me that the reason why we kept bumping into each other after we met was because they had been thinking about me non-stop since we first crossed eyes so they were constantly hoping to see me again. The reticular activating system is the scientific explanation for this apparent nonsense.

And it may seem stupid but these days I rely a lot on that reticular system as proof that the guy is truly interested in me and then worth giving him any of my time and attention. If I bump into them more than three times in a month in the most unexpected places then I may consider investing time in getting to know them better.

What happens if you keep bumping into someone and it seems like it’s meant to be be but they’re not making a move?

Here is where the standard comes in handy.

If I meet such a guy and he’s not pushing the button as soon as he’s met me or in less than 24 hours then I quickly lose my interest and cut him off completely. I delete him from my phone, social media and stuff.

In fact, if you want an outstanding and amazing relationship keep yourselves as far and as away as possible from men who like easy or low investment moves.

But also do not forget to be of outstanding value yourself… because like attracts like. It has to go both ways. You can’t hold standards you can’t keep for yourself. That would mean having “double standards”.

Should we do as they say in the song and show off our assets and display the freak we control?

I don’t know about you but the wild women I know can’t afford the luxury of being and expressing their sensual selves 24/7. That generates a lot of unwanted attention.

We know we can cast spells with just a gaze into their eyes, sometimes without even intenting to do so. So we’re very careful and try to be standoffish with men that don’t pick our interest in the slightest. We know we have something amazing going on for ourselves and we don’t need to broadcast it to the entire world. But some men definitely will pick up on this energy even if they can’t exactly explain what it is about us that makes us “different”. Trevor knows this… lol.

Since we already know we have this power with men and that they usually get infatuated and obsessed with us once we let them into our world, then we avoid men getting into our world so they don’t get attached to something that they may not deserve to have or won’t know how to keep.

And these days we limit a lot how much we’re gonna display about our true nature until we figure out if those men meet such standards. I particularly believe it’s very cruel to give someone a taste of something they won’t ever find again as most of these men swear to have never experienced such a thing in the thirty or forty years of life they’ve had before they met me. And one could say they are good at lying. But this is definitely easy to find out in the amount of time it takes them to move on into their next relationship, and sometimes even by how we hear they’ve behaved drastically differently and worse with other women. So there was something about us that made them be truly in love and tried to give their absolute best to us.

And by letting them in into our lives I don’t even mean having sex, I mean giving them a spot in our agenda and investing some effort and energy in getting to know them and showing them our real selves.

Scientific research tell us we deliberatedly show as unathentic to people we’re not 100% interested in because we are designed to be indifferent to the 8 billion people who populate earth.

Don’t believe me? watch this video here (around minute 12 he actually confirms my theory and justifies our willingness to control the freak we control).

Because whether they’re friends and foes it requires too much time and effort to find out. And we don’t want more guys than we can actually have time to date in a lifetime lining up for a date to later find out they don’t quite meet our standards.

Why so many standards and rules? why making it all so complicated?

It’s actually very simple. Experience has taught most wild women the hard way that not every attention is wanted or even welcomed. So we only save our best assets for the ones who deserve to see them. Simple, isn’t it?

We get rid of most contestants and pursuers trying to get our attention by setting and raising higher standards. So hardly anyone can meet them but those who can will definitely be worth our while. 😉

So these days if we’re gonna risk falling in love and later being called divas, witches, sluts, merciless, heart breakers, homewreckers, whores, black magic women, and what not… we better ensure first that those guys we actually allow to get to know the real us…. are at least somewhat courageous enough to push the button.

Why? Because rejection scares the hell out of most men. And we should want men who actually like stepping outside their comfort zones and aim to win. Because winners know it takes failing and failing again to actually win. But losers already give up after the first failure.

And each time we tried to avoid or ignore these standards and made exceptions to such rules we ended up regretting instantly way too much to want to skip following such standards ever again.

Why? because It’s way easier to not let a man in than it is to get him out. Besides, the harder they have to push to get in the more they will appreciate it once they’re in and the less they will take you for granted.

“How obvious should a girl be?“

Answering the question in the song…

So if a man has managed to call your attention and he’s not making a move…

What should you do? Nothing at all. Relax, stay focused on yourself, do your work or go out and have some fun. Forget he even exists, because he doesn’t really until he offers you interesting enough plans that you may have to accept or refuse.

Besides, the man who is really really really interested in you will make it known.

And that’s me, who I’m all in for gender equality and equal rights, but that hasn’t blinded me to the fact that men are biologically programmed to pursue women, if they can’t, because you’re doing their job, they won’t feel like they’ve earned it. And lately, the men I’ve entertained have only been the go-getters who love a good challenge when they see one. And for that, they’re gonna have to read between the lines of my unauthentic behaviour. Because if I realize I don’t like them after all, then I may act clingy or desperate on purpose so they give up the chase on their own.

Hard… I know ;D. I guess just want to be single for longer.

That doesn’t mean that women can’t be the initiators signalling when there is an opportunity for them to try. That’s how we make ourselves be noticed by them to begin with.

We either walk past them, look at them, smile at them or gaze back straight into their eyes if we like what we see. And I mean a real intense look into their eyes. A Toni Braxton one as in the video below.

And that’s all the moves I recommend for ladies to make.

Unless you, like me, are fearless and not scared to drive men away because you are not desperate to find a man and you’re willing to test these theories by yourself. And my experience can show you how unless you want to put a man off you, is best if you don’t make a move.

In general, the advice is just to be patient and let him do the work.

If he’s not calling, not chatting you up or not following through with actions of things he says he wants to do but doesn’t… then he’s just not that into you. So don’t force it. Get rid of him getting any further attention from you, block him from sending you messages in the future. If he realizes he made a mistake with you and that he really likes you now that you’ve shown him you’re not available for him anymore, make him work his ass off.

In fact, unless you like helpless insecure men who are either emotionally unavailable or unsure about their feelings for you I would strongly recommend you to implemet this standard and save yourself from unnecessary heartache and drama.

I would only welcome the type of gents who are decisive, who take risks, also called alpha or sygma men, who don’t go for easy prey. The wild kings, and yes, they do exist. And it feels amazing when you meet a man who doesn’t even make you doubt for a second of his interest in getting to know you better.

And if there are any men reading this, guys, make it a super move. Saying hello, inviting her out to coffee or drinks, not even dinner is good enough these days, they’ve seen it all, tempt her better with something different. ;D

Add this song to the playlist of set standards for single ladies and this song will kindly remind you of this.

And if you continue to want a man who is doing nothing to get you. Why would you even want to be with a man who is not trying his hardest to impress you?

Or simply avoid the other song and just add this one instead… and focus on being the kind of girl/woman a man is considering making a move on. Trust me, it feels amazing when a man does.

By the way, standards are just a guide for you to measure and gauge their interest based on the relationship you truly want. You don’t say “you’re not meeting such or such standard. You just dump them when they show you with their actions that they don’t follow such standards. Don’t even give them a second chance or time to explain themselves.

Really, if have to explain to a man how I want to be treated… he will behave that way for a while, and then… just when you think you can relax, he’ll revert back to his old self. And then you’ll keep begging him to go back to the one that seduced you but that man never existed in the first place. So… make sure they can more or less meet the most important standards organically.