Here I am, single again at age 37 and really enjoying every bit of it….
Yes… Single and enjoying it. Single and wanting to be single for long.
How is it possible? Most fellow women hate it. But I do love spending time on my own. And these days I have too many goals to chase to even focus on men or entertain any kind of traditional relationship.
And if you’re one of those who would like to learn how to enjoy and embrace being a single woman you’ll actually realize how hard it is to actually stick to your choice. Why?
Apparently there is nothing more attractive to men than having exactly that same attitude and confidence. Mind you, but only when it’s genuine. Not when is faked to make them fall for you. It’s got to be really felt in the way you refuse plans with them, in the way you’re not bothered whether they text you or not, because you’d rather have them removed of your life. So if they disappear they make your life easier, even.
So whether you want men or not, unfortunately getting in this estate of mind is a win-win situation for you.
I learnt how to become emotionally independent by age 19 and it has improved my life significantly. I started wondering what’s the point of having a relationship at that age and questioning myself deeply as to what did I seek in other people? Did I really need anything from anyone other than occassional sex, anyway? I mean, I had gone as far as age 19 without any real meaningful love relationship and as far as I was concerned I was fine. By that age friendships and family had shown me that I had to have my own back. Basically, I could only count on myself to get what is on my best interest. So I learnt the hard and most effective way that it’s best not to depend on other people for anything.
So I focused on completing myself with whatever I thought I was lacking from a meant to be “other half” and therefore never feeling like I needed a man at all other than for some occassional fun. I guess I was born to be wild and free. By age 22 mastered that of not caring at all about what men did or didn’t do.
January 2021: Nearly three years later to that intro and I’m still finding it hard to stay single. It’s like me minding my own business and being too busy to even entertain a relationship with them made men addicted to me. Hence I’m avoiding men all together unless it’s for my own business purposes.
But what happened once I reached 19? It’s not like I became physically irresistible overnight. I think, however, I became vibrationally irressitible over time once I found my wild side and released it.
So here I am ready and willing to empower all other single ladies to become emotionally and economically independent so they become truly powerful and magnetic.
One of the benefits of being single it’s hitting a disco after you have made sure you look your best, so you’re super confident and it’s like they can smell it from miles away and get naturally drawn to you.
Whilst being married or in a committed relationship I’m super faithful, so I just go to dance and have fun with my friends. But men would approach me anyway because I was just simply having fun dancing or talking with my friends. But I did not entertain any unless my partners have done something dodgy that week like closing their lap top all of a sudden when I enter the room, as if they were hiding something. Unless they do something like that I’m generally good when out and about on my own. But if they do dodgy stuff like that I take it as the beginning of the end and I open myself to other possibilities. Then I may definitely entertain some flirtatious banter of some nature to keep my options open, the worst comes the worst. I would go out extra pretty on such occassions, yes. I was perhaps only bad at letting their imagination run more paranoid than it should. How? by not correcting them on their jealous assumptions as to how many guys could possibily hit on me whilst out and about that night that I had every reason under the sun to be suspicious of their behaviour.
But now that I’m single again… when I go out I feel like in the song below….
So yes, I’m a limited edition, too many women all rolled into one, an army of them, from my non-judgamental ways to my positive self generated energy, from my dark wits to my daring looks, from my goofy moods to my sexy moves. And if men don’t find that appealing, that’s not my problem. I don’t exist to be liked or accepted by them. But some do.
If I entertain a man that guy has to initiate, pursue me, chase me, invite me out, and what not. The bar has been raised too high lately. I have always been picky, that of a diva doesn’t come out of nowhere. But now my standards have been raised ten fold high.
And if you’re 100% single and listening to these songs and feeling their song vibes and starting to feel as powerful as they do (or as they make me feel)…people will pick on that vibe whilst you have fun talking with friends, giving your best shot at the dance floor whilst you notice all those eyes trying to make a two second connection with yours to come and approach you and you’ll just want to avoid them all because you are more into have fun with friends and let your body rock to the beat of the music than to actually entertain any guy’s conversation.
But if you’re not on such a good mood yet, don’t worry… we’re here to help. Let’s begin with a super empowering song from sister to sister.
I haven’t felt low in a long time. Not even during my divorce. But my low was once so low I try not to forget it because it made me the bulletproof woman I am now. And if I could overcome my low, so can you.
And once you got up from the floor….
Remember, we’re not done yet, we’re not completed yet. We should always be working on our next masterpiece, be that a career goal, a personal goal, or a lifestyle goal. Our lives are our own masterpiece. So remember… you’re probably a work of art already, but you can always improve your game, raise your standards, and so on.
And now… let’s get ready for the night.
This of loving oneself it’s sometimes one of the hardest jobs out there, and a never ending process. There are always new areas that you need or want to be confident on. But let’s continue on a going out routine.
So after a shower, now it’s time to look in the mirror whilst you choose your sexiest or most beautiful and flattering underwear, I know… you’re only going to meet with friends but it doesn’t harm wearing something sexy as hell. That way you’ll feel ready for whatever comes your way and that makes you show up as confident. You deserve it just for yourself. Think as of you treating yourself to feeling awesome. Why would you wear your nicest underwear for a man and not for yourself? You should want to look and feel sexy just for yourself every single day.
I have been fitter and I’ve been fatter… at the moment I’m not at my slimmest, I’m in fact weighing 13 kilos more than I used to (January 2021 update: I’ve lost 8!!), yet still fitting on size 10s and Small and XS tops. So not sure how my body has changed since I had my daughter nearly three years ago. But loving my curves and waking up like Meghan Trainor sing she does on the song below. And yes, I still attract men the same, you know, when they turn their heads and compliment you on the street.
Unlike her, I don’t thank God, I only have myself to thank for working so hard on becoming the person I always wanted to be. And so far.. I have all I want. And sometimes even more!!. I’m an extremely lucky girl if you wish. Or perhaps I have a powerful mind and I achieve whatever I want with it and make it look effortlessly. And that’s something that not many people seem to have or do.
And well, from there… I would recommend something like this to put your make-up. Oh yeah, feel it… if a man that is not your type comes by make no allowances, only entertain those who meet your new standards. You’re an amazing woman act like one. Set your goals high and your value even higher.
Now let’s go get all the stuff in your bag, your purse in, mobile phone, perfume on, and some to take just in case you feel like it has abandoned you half way through a long night. Now it’s time to get leaving …
As in the song below I have the new clothes, the new boots, and the attitude I’ve been having it since age 21, getting over men it’s easy for me…. but I still love the whole feeling single again.
I’m usually the one to break up the relationships when I outgrow them or outsmart the men who try to play me for a fool. But if they tried to play me and came back later trying to sort things out… I would do like in the song below if they called me. And yes, I would probably be partying celebrating my new single status.
And if they play any of your favourite songs I hope you too become that kind of show girl who is not afraid to call the shots…because that would mean you’re confident enough to express yourself on the dancefloor, or on top of the bar or on top of tables, and actually enjoy it. Because that would mean you’ve got a healthy self esteem. Unlike other people who seem really quiet and hate to call attention upon themselves would like to make you think. And when you are fearless out and about clubbing, well, let’s say going out it’s twice as fun!! 🙂
Another song that I love to put me in a positive and confident mood is this one from Kazaky. Really makes me want to dance like mad… but also.. love the super confident message of the song… it’s like… “hey, I know you want me”. I know from experience it works. I also know the opposite also works. So … what do you want to think? The end result depends on you.
And here one for the girls that do dare on the tables or bars like I did with my friends! ;D
If I dance I usually end up with some eyes on me as in the song below. I won’t say all, but I can quite confidently claim that sometimes most have been on me. Even women came to ask me if I was getting paid to dance as a go-go. So even women laid eyes on my dancing skills. Me and a friend of mine had tons of nights in England to claim the podiums… because… yeps… guys tried to talk to us and all we wanted to do was to dance.
And yes… with all these tunes that celebrate all the fun single women have whilst going out… I know it’s very likely someone would try to talk to me. They have to be very brave, as women like me intimidate most men… but if they dared…. conversation could be fun and likely to be of the nature as the song below. ;D
And if it gets really interesting back in the day I would have been very straight forward, these days my standards are a lot higher than ever before and extremely picky because I can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZQDFtJT_AQ
I’m not planning to take anyone in bed with me tonight, but if I were…. oh well, this would also apply. Let’s be clear in bed girls, if you aren’t clear in advance of what you like and how it will go, chances are it will not go to your taste. It’s a risk if you don’t sort of talk in advance of what you both like in bed or whilst having it. You ought to be confident and ask for what you want. If they say they can’t offer you that, then … what’s the point to take them to bed in the first place?. Obviously you’ll have to find a way to do it in a playful way and not as a list of demands.
Even when you go just to have fun with the girls, if the music is good and sensual it would be literally impossible to dance without resulting provocative to guys nearby. So they will try to interrupt you, try not to look at their eyes. Avoid them like the plague. Still they will try to talk to you when you go to the toilet, to the bar, or stop for a second to talk with a friend, some will interrumpt you regardless.
And if someone happens to be looking at me when I’m doing my hips moves and we lock eyes… bang bang there goes their heart. You ought to try it. Dance sexy to yourself… following the beat with your hips and then look up, whoever you look up to will feel attracted to you and will either come to talk to you or will follow you around with their eyes the rest of the night. Hard to believe but it happens. Sometimes even when you don’t look at them they may just come to say “I’ve been looking at you the whole night and you’re fucking beautiful” and leave it at just that. If not their heart it definitely blows their minds as to how just a gaze can be so hypnotic or magnetic. And let’s repeat again, I have a normal face…. and that of the gaze worked as well when I was overweight.
And not looking for love nor sex. But a guy who can provide me the feeling below might be enjoyed from time to time. Sweet and wild, perfect mixture. ;D
However, even if I find a promising treasure like that… I know I can still refuse such a promising man and stay focused on my goals. Because they’re gonna have to earn every inch of my body even before they get a date with me.
So in my case and yours (if you, like me) also have high standards), this is something you’ll be saying a lot. So listen to it… and repeat confidently when a guy who doesn’t meet your criteria 100% tries to get your telephone number or your attention. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8EfDkZmF1Q
Yeps these days I live to enjoy myself, achieve my goals, succed in my work, enjoy my time alone, make the most of my energy, achieve the results of my positive vibes, the results of my dressing high and looking my best. Showing up, being kind, being inspiring to other people and being as gentle and as patient as I can be to my kids. Respecting someone else’s boundaries as well as my own. Demanding the respect I deserve and not settling for any less than what I feel I deserve. Even if others don’t think I deserve such. I set my own value and surprisingly enough I get valued at such high estimate.
And only those who treat me like a queen may get the best out of me for a while.
This song also puts me in a great mood.
So listen women, whatever shape, sexual orientation or skin colour you have, do yourself the favour to treat yourself like a queen.
Your own relationship with yourself will set the tone to your relationship with other people. I have the belief that everyone has great qualities about themselves, knowledge and wisdom to explore, things to talk about or views worth a conversation (or plenty) even if they are convinced they’re physically flawed like I wrongly thought I was (due to social and media pressure on women to be perfect and flawless)… I decided to focus on making my brain and personality stand out instead. And somehow the pagacke became irresistible. Because I fed my brain, my soul, my life with knowledge, wisdom and power. So find that which makes you different, be that a unique type of body or an outside the box way of thinking, an unusual style or a particular taste of music or movies and make of all of those your biggest asset and source of power. Instead of being ashamed of it.
Own it and flaunt it… like the lady in the video below.
Because you’re worth it. ;P
And let’s share the song below for those who don’t understand that you need to love yourself first. Because precisely not doing so it’s what makes people feel lonely even when they have their own company and that of others.
Ironically enough it’s only once you reach that level of self love that nobody wants to leave you alone ever again.
And even if you loved yourself and nobody else came along (which I doubt because it’s like the strongest magnet there is out there) who cares? be someone you love. Life will feel way better loving yourself and enjoying your freedom.
After all we all are whole alone. You are not a half. You don’t need to find someone to marry you or live with someone to validate your existence with a ring.
And even if they put the ring on it… not all rings are worth keeping on, especially if they stop acting as lovely as they did when they put the ring on it. isn’ it? So relationship will have to end up if they plan to breadcrumb me or start abusing me or disappointing me in any way.
Because as the outrageous Myley says below… I can’t be tamed either for all the same reasons. And those who put the ring on it sooner or later attempt to tame their wives. Even if the fact that she was wild and free was the main thing that got them attracted to them in the first place.
And now I’m ready to party with my glossy long black straight hair…. blood red lipstick on, dramatic eye shadow, tight black trousers that flatter my rear in such a way I can’t even help but to spank it myself ;D, long black platform boots, and a flattering non revealing top. Done!!… I’m going out tonight…
And last and not least… this song whose lyrics I have no clue what they’re singing about but I wish there were discos where they would play such songs… and the video… wow… definitely aimed to turn men on. Some women too.
If you listened to all the songs above, read the content or watched the videos I bet your night will be as fantastic as mines always are. Even when these days I rather come home alone when I go clubbing.
However being single doesn’t mean being 100% alone.
Oh no, I’m single and as I said above, it’s difficult to be single when you have such a positive attitude about yourself, your body, your looks, your goals and your life.
Yes. When you’re single out of your own personal choice because you’re chasing goals and not boys nor men, then good quality men come to find you… and they won’t like the slight chance of losing you.
When you rule your own kingdom you will meet a king. Seems unfair but true.
So I just enjoy dating from time to time with king of mighty fucking continous effort, you know, those guys you think don’t exist. They actually do. But they’re only willing to give their best for someone who is picky with their time, has world changing goals and aim really high.
Or at least they do exist for me. While most women can claim “you had me at hello” I guess I’m guilty of waiting for way too much on top of just a “hello”. Not needing a man at all is what makes it easy to stick to it.
And yes. Even when the guy seems like gold to most… I am still able to focus and keep my priorities in check. However I won’t deny sometimes I feel a bit conflicted between my business goals and my thirst of enjoying life with someone who actually deserves it. Who doesn’t like being spoiled rotten at their own beck and call whenever they want? Me. Oh yess… but that makes it so much better.
The song above it’s more of my style. 😀
I will soon make another one for alternative chicks.