I died a thousand times.
Each time I die, a new wiser side of me emerges. Each time that new wiser side has to coexist with with all the other sides of me. And each time it gets harder to get all my old and new sides to agree on the same topic.
So yes, perhaps you can say I’m a walking contradiction.
“Do I contradict myself? very well, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes”. Walt Whitman – Leaves of Grass
I’m not one in a million, I’m one in a lifetime kind of woman with all the new sides I have been creating and reinventing ever since I became aware of this power.
And it’s not my fault it takes most people to lose me to actually realize there is no upgrade after someone as honest, free, wild yet loyal and determined as I am.
However… there is not a single side left in me that tolerates being abused, manipulated, disrespected, controlled or taken for granted in any way.
I’m usually a well intentioned person, mean no harm and I tend to see the best in people, because we see people as we are, not as they are. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. But if people come to me with false pretenses or bad intentions trying to take advantage of me, oh well, then those may get the worst of me. And trust me… that one can be dark and twisted.
Not my fault they hadn’t done their research well, I guess I just take advantage of people who try to treat me as a thing or a possession, instead of the person I am.
I have nothing to hide, but if someone doesn’t take the time to learn me before approaching me and think that I’ll be like the average woman that can be beaten into submission, it’s absolutely not my fault they end up fucked up on their own.
Obviously it comes as to no surprise that most people that act this way will feel offended I outsmarted them at their own game and may call me a bitch.
I’m not a bitch… I am simply perhaps the more intelligent of the two of us involved in any given situation. But if that makes me “a bitch”, perhaps yes, I’m a bitch.