Anatomy of a Miracle

This Academic year I am definitely going to need more than a couple of miracles like the ones I performed in July to get what I need to make ends meet. But it’s happening, one way or another. Because I’m gonna make it happen. Period.

The main goal is having a life I love living and a job I love doing while I get to spend more time with my super adorable children and become financially independent for real.

Given that from July the father of my children thinks he has an official and legitimate excuse (letter written with the help of a solicitor to say that he doesn’t have the means to help with child support) and that this year I have no government support at all (in Corona I didn’t even apply for it and I got it, this time I really need it and I don’t get it, ironies of the world!!) I have decided to push myself even further outside my comfort zone by choosing to not depend of the willingness of my parents to look after my children so I can work.

Crazy, I know!! But I honestly don’t want my ability to work and earn money to be heavily impacted one day by someone else’s inability to look after my children. And I know perhaps it’s not the best year to aim for that goal as well but sometimes I need big discomfort to make the changes necessary to grow.

Given that I already work for myself I can create my own rules as I go, and that of me working with my children it’s easier given that I teach English and they’re native speakers so I would be stupid not to use that to my advantage. So I started telling my customers years ago that I teach with my children and it’s something they have to accept when hiring my services. That’s how I get the work and the customers I want. I’m fearless about imposing my conditions to work. Some potential customers I may lose but then those would be the ones I wouldn’t want. So I don’t see it as a loss. But also, anyone with brains would realize their children benefit greatly from playing with my children so it’s usually a win-win situation I created for myself, my children, my students, and my customers.

And with this challenge, I would also love to prove to all those living in a happy victim mentality that OUR life IS ALWAYS going to be A REFLECTION of the choices WE make on a daily basis.

And sometimes to live the life you want you have to be willing to take risks and some of those risks come with no guarantee that they will pay off.

The risk I’m taking right now implies losing safe customers and with those a reliable source of income to venture into a more desired but less reliable source of income. I know it’s risky, I know it’s daring, especially knowing that this year I’m kind of going cold turkey on money support, and that’s why I love it. I can’t help it!!. I love a good challenge and I know the rewards of taking such leaps of faith always feel amazing.

And every time I say no to what most people would say yes to (out of fear of not finding anything better) I usually get something way better instead. So here I am. Creating my destiny as I go. Because the best way to predict the future is to create it.

Am I scared that I may not make enough money to make ends meet?? Yes. There is always a tinge of fear that the risk may not pay off. However there is also the experience that reasures me that ever since I was 19 I’ve been taking risks and they’ve all paid off.

And I know that if I want a miracle to happen I have to allow room for it to happen. What I can’t do is going for the safe option and hoping for something better to come along. It doesn’t usually work that way.

Cowards who go for the easy option rarely get rewarded for it. They most likely end up being afraid of change, afraid of the unknown and afraid of uncertainty and that is what keeps them stuck in situations they hate but they’re too afraid to change because they’ve become way too comfortable in them. And that’s how people slowly but surely get depressed, get ill, lose their mental health, lose their will to live and whatnot.

Worst come the worst if by October I haven’t filled all the gaps in my schedule then I will use that as the greatest wake-up call to truly push myself harder to make it happen. It will be a great opportunity to come to terms with the fact that such a job alone perhaps is not enough to pay all my bills and I will then either invest that extra time focusing on advertising the room to rent I have been working on since last September (is not like I’ve been lazying around), as well as all the other services I can provide now that I can finally live on top of my photographic studio, including the coaching skills that make me this fearless individual when it comes to risk-taking decisions that most people think are just lucky coincidences, but trust me, they’re not.

You create your own LUCK with the CHOICES you make and the RISKS you take.

Because I’m confident that even if the risk wouldn’t pay off… I’d at least be sharpening my skills as a consequence of it and sooner or later I’d be better off as a consequence of failing at it the first time around.

And, yes, I agree with most people that think I might be crazy, and perhaps I am. And believe me, I understand your concerns that my priority above all should be paying my bills and that I shouldn’t care if it’s with boring lessons or with additional help. And that in order to feel proud of myself I should be earning x, y, or z each month so that other people could see me more like a success to them…

But heck “no, thanks” I just want to do things my way.

And GUESS what? My children are not going to be this little and lovely forever, time flies by and luckily enough I stopped giving a damn about other people’s opinions of me. I honestly believe this time I’m investing in my children now is what can make them want to communicate and stay in touch with me forever. This is how bonding is done. And I want them to feel they have a present mum, I want them to know they can always count on mum to care of them and anything that worries them. And if working in something that makes me happy whilst keeping my children close makes me more like a failure to some of you, so be it.

I am many things but above all I’m a mother who wants to raise positive and operational children in this world and for that I need to make my children feel seen, loved, valued, respected, happy, and bully-proof so that when they encounter hurt people needing to take their pain out on them they will be less likely to take other people’s opinions of them personally.

So say what you want, I’d much rather teach my children and my students that life can be easygoing, fun, and as enjoyable as you want it to be rather than to teach them to conform or/and take abuse as if abuse was an unavoidable part of life. Which may be when you first arrive in the world and you have no choice in which family you land. But once you’ve grown is all about who you choose to surround yourself with. And after all, it’s going to be your belief system the one that saves you or breaks you.

My children and my pupils get to see this kind of magic miracles happening in our lessons every time I wish for a specific outcome before I roll the dice or pick up a chance card in Monopoloy. So they begin to realize that when they’re focus on their desired results they’re more likely to get them.

Most people will read this and continue to think I live in La la land or that what I say it only happens in movies. Well, perhaps then my entire life is a movie or I create my movie as I go. Because I’m living proof that my life is full of apparently not possible things happening for me constantly.

And although to some it may seem like I’m losing, I must warn you that I’m actually winning.

After all, my ex-husband always thought he was the smartest one of the two until I outsmarted him in so many unexpected ways that there is no wonder he felt played, betrayed and like he can’t trust me now. I guess he didn’t see that coming from someone he perceived to be inferior to him. But oh well, definitely not my fault if he chose me for my potential beauty whilst underestimating my lethal brain.

So it’s time for me to grind and become the one and only provider for the children I once had with someone that likes to behave as if I’m the only one responsible for having them.

So let’s do this!! Let’s show those victim mentality people and all those irresponsible dads that we, wild mums, are perfectly capable of that and way more.

Now, all I need is more work on the weekends, some more lessons with grown-up students in the mornings, and a couple of summer immersions, but please CHILDREN AND FEMALES ONLY!! Because each time I remind him how he could be earning as much as I do doing the same job I do then I run the risk of being labeled a whore. I’m kidding. I’d extremely grateful to anyone who needs and hires my services.

I wonder what would happen to his narrow mind when he finds out that 99% of my income actually comes from single or married mums that happen to value my original, fun, engaging, and specific approach to teaching English for which no quals, no residency papers and no physhical beauty have EVER been required (all his excuses for not finding a job in six years). Meaning… if he truly wanted a job and a way to contribute to his children’s upbringing he could have done that.

And please, understand, I don’t want to talk badly about other people but I think if they wanted me to talk warmer about them they should have made more of an effort to help or to be a responsible parent to their children.

But as the song says I have will, have fight, got pride, got reason.

So… that’s it, that’s how I make miracles happen for me.

I get laser-focus on my goals fuelled by circumstances I do not wish to entertain.

I ignore the naysayers.

I test my limits.

I step out of my comfort zone and jump into the unknown.

And then I grow wings that allow me to land safely and comfortably on the other side of fear where everything is way better than I thought.

Need to perform some miracles? book today 22/10/22 and get a 20% discount of this wild side retreat where you can too grow wings. 😀

If you find this content inspiring, empowering, or motivating, and/or if you wish to contribute to my success in raising my children entirely on my own you can do so by hiring my services or making a donation here.

The goal though is not to inspire people to feel sorry for me and the minor struggle or stress I have to go through at the moment. The goal is to make other people in my situation feel empowered to do something about their situation even when it seems they are helpless.

I chose to follow the hardest way because I love a challenge and I love to test the limits of what I can achieve when I set my mind to it.

I love to show my children and other people what’s possible if you only take risks and believe that they’re gonna pay off. And I hope you too start seeing your difficulties or struggles as opportunities to grow and be better.

12/10/22 update.

Miracles happened and I have an almost full schedule of pupils!!

I even got my ex husband to pay 200€ of what he owes me.

But as I type I’m more than 3,000€ worse off since I chose to give him a break from paying maintenance so he could afford to invest in the best affordable house possible. Given that he can’t really see how “easy” I’ve been making his life ever since we got divorced maybe it’s about time I make it harder so he realizes how “easy” he’s had it ever since I left the house.

I honestly don’t want to make his life any harder. Proof of it is that I even left him in the house. Even if the law could have probably allowed me to stay in the house until our young one turns 18 we came up with the fair idea of paying him his half of the house so he could start over as he was starving himself and not paying maintenance anyway. And we could have just kicked him out of the house after court but we knew he had no legal residence and no job so nobody would rent him anything. Where was he gonna live? what was he gonna live of? So we helped him have money again by purchasing his half of the house so he could start over. And he still likes to complain he got conned or forced to accept. If he didn’t end up homeless it’s thanks to my family. We even found him a place to stay until he could find somewhere to stay… and he even got that for free. So is not like we haven’t helped him at all. Not sure how much more can we help someone so ungrateful though.

I definitely feel conned that he chose to spend most of the money in the property so now he doesn’t have money enough to pay maintenance. So unless he starts paying religiously his 400€ from November onwards he’s gonna have to have that money claimed from his house or the car.

You see he thinks he can keep me providing for them both eternally until the perfect high-paid job of his dreams lands on his lap before he can spare any amount of money on his children’s welfare. But he’s got money to pay his bills and even tanks of petrol to see his girlfriend who lives like 45 mins away or more. But I … have to be struggling and asking for miracles to make ends meet in the meantime.

I don’t know about you…but even if I’m managing to make those miracles happen … I don’t think it’s fair at all.

So for all those who don’t see the point in contributing to the upbringing of their children there are law-enforced methods to ensure they understand paying and providing for their children is a PRIORITY and not an OPTION. And I’m very fed of up of having my life on hold, not being able to have a social life at all just so he can have an “easy” life.

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